1-13: Dear Journal…

08-31-18_9-10-34 PM

I’m thinking about retiring after this season.  I’ve done so much and I’m only 31. With San Myshuno FC I’ve been a league champion 4 times, a cup champion twice, and even played with the US National Team the last 4 years.  I have more money than I know what to do with. I have invested wisely and I’m getting a return on those investments.

I don’t want to be one of those guys who doesn’t know when to quit.  Yeah, I probably have 3-5 more years left in me. Yeah, I could still step out on that pitch in the Blue and Black in front of 90,000 fans and love every minute of it.  Yeah, I would love to win the league again. But when is enough enough?

There’s literally 10 soccer players I can think of who still perform at a top level after their young 30s.  Most of them, though, go on the club tour where they’re signed for a year or two to bring in some extra fans and to give their young players a boost.  I don’t mind teaching a new kid the basics, but I don’t want to be a sideshow. I don’t want to be someone to help draw a crowd.

Nina thinks I should keep playing.  Not that she doesn’t want me home. She does.  She wants that more than anything. She told me she’s tired of me being away for days or weeks at a time.  She wants to wake up next to me and kiss me good morning every day. She also thinks I would be stupid to retire from my dream before the dream is over.  

I’ll say it again.. When is enough enough?  

What isn’t enough is this place.  When we moved in, I had two kids and one on the way.  Now, I’ve got 5 kids and one on the way. We’ve renovated twice.  We’ve built more bedrooms. We did everything we could. I guess we could renovate again, but I don’t really want my house to become like a highway where it’s always under construction but never finished.  I do know one thing… I love my children with all my heart, but I don’t want anymore. I finally went to the doctor and had a vasectomy. That’s it. The Sergio Alvarez Baby Factor has gone out of business.

08-31-18_9-11-20 PM

I spoke to Uncle Juan.  He’s doing well. Andrés has found a woman to settle down with and moved out and while Uncle Juan loves the house, he wants to move.  I guess I could move everyone back to Brindleton Bay. That house has 7 bedrooms. It has a big yard and pool for all the kids to use.  They won’t be cramped up in this penthouse with a small yard outside.

The problem is the travel time from Brindleton to San Myshuno.  It’s a two-hour drive one way. I’m already gone from home enough now.  Do I really want to add 4 more hours a day to my time away from my wife and kids?

I think Nina wants out of San Myshuno, too.  She loves living in the fashion district. She adores having the best place in the whole city.  She just wants to have a place to relax. Motherhood has been tough on her. She’s still just as beautiful as the day I met her, but you can tell her patience is worn.  She’s ready for these kids to grow up and start doing more on their own.

Diego and Antonio are great with helping out.  They help with the toddlers and making sure they eat and are sleeping.  Those twins are amazing. I hope Ana, Alejandro, and Enrique are learning from their good example.

Nina is about to burst with the new kid.  I decided I didn’t want to know what the baby was going to be.  I have 4 boys. To be honest, I’d rather have one more boy, but I think Nina wants another girl.  She feels outnumbered. She tells me all the time that the amount of testosterone in the house is probably going to suffocate her one day.  What can I say, my father had one kid… a boy. My grandfather had 9 kids, all boys. It’s an Alvarez trait, I guess. We have boys. A long line of Alvarez men having Alvarez sons.  One day we’ll probably rule the world.

08-31-18_9-11-29 PM

Ah, man, I finally told Diego and Antonio that Becky had died.  It was the hardest conversation I’ve ever had to have with them.  I know they didn’t really know her, but you can tell when things affect kids.  Though, and I tell you that I couldn’t have ever expected them to say this, they told me that Nina was their real mom and Becky was only their biological mother.  Now, you tell me any kids that are smarter than them. Go ahead, I dare you.

But, they’re also sad about it.  They were hoping to finally get to know her and learn about her and their only living grandparents.  They wanted to visit her in New York and see all the sights. That’s just not possible now. I can take them to New York, but I think… I think it wouldn’t be the same for them.  Man, so many emotions all mixed together.

I had a dream last night.  It felt so damn real, but I had a dream last night.  I dreamt my dad was here. He was standing at the foot of the bed talking to me.  He didn’t say much, only that he was proud of me. I swear I could’ve touched him it felt so real.  He said that mama was so happy to have grandkids and wishes she could hug them. Man, I wish that had been real.  But it still made me feel like I’ve done the right things so far… even if they seemed like mistakes at the beginning.

Oh shit, Nina just hollered for me.  Looks like I’m about to be a father for the 6th time… kid’s on the way!

08-31-18_9-23-38 PM

Heh, Nina’s so happy… It’s a GIRL!  Clara Elena Alvarez Caliente.

I bought a VoidCritter game for the kids.  Ana is all over it.  Her brothers don’t seem to be into it as much as she is. She’s been busy training her whatever it is.  I’m glad she’s happy!

08-31-18_9-08-23 PM

And another birthday.  This time Alejandro has aged up.  Man, I’m kind of happy I have a new kid.  I’ve gotten so used to toddlers running around, I don’t know what I’d do without that!

08-31-18_8-48-53 PM

08-31-18_9-06-48 PM

That’s all for tonight.  I’m so loving this new journal!   

11 thoughts on “1-13: Dear Journal…

    • That’s gonna be tough for me. Deciding when is the right time for Sergio to stop being the focus. As much as I would like to say that it is when X happens, I think there will be a moment when a natural shift will happen. When Diego finally get his own personality and seems ready to take over, I suppose. We’ll see when that is. Sergio’s not even an adult yet (not quite old enough). We’ve plenty of time.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I like these nice simple, slice of life chapters. Especially after all the drama that happened with Becky… Looking forward to seeing what happens next in the Alvarez family… though I think Nina i quite happy that there will be no more kids… 6 kids is a lot… wait did I could them right? 4 boys and 2 girls right? There are so many… lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • 4 boys and 2 girls is correct.. Diego, Antonio, Ana, Alejandro, Enrique, and Clara. Nina doesn’t want more kids. Not that she wouldn’t love them, but she’s done nothing the last…. 14 years I think.. but raise children. She’s ready for them all to go to school so she can go back to being lazy (one of Nina’s traits).

      Liked by 1 person

    • And I love to write Slice of Life. It’s really the kind of writing I do best, if I say so myself. Not every chapter can be that way, though. But this was a fun one to write. This one came to me out of the blue like a stroke of inspiration.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My grandma is also one of 10 (big, Mexican Catholic family). The hardest part is family names are common there are twenty million Carmens and Antonios just to name a couple. If I hadn’t done genealogy not sure I could keep them straight.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, if Sergio’s parents hadn’t been working their fingers to the bone to live the American dream, Sergio might have had siblings, but he’s made sure his kids have plenty of family around them.

        Like

    • Well, it starts with good genes, I suppose. TS4 isn’t always great at spitting out good looking children 😛 But, I know the kids are pretty good looking. Look at their dad and their mother(s). All of them are good looking… as far as where life leads them… time will only tell.

      Like

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