I’m thinking about retiring after this season. I’ve done so much and I’m only 31. With San Myshuno FC I’ve been a league champion 4 times, a cup champion twice, and even played with the US National Team the last 4 years. I have more money than I know what to do with. I have invested wisely and I’m getting a return on those investments.
I don’t want to be one of those guys who doesn’t know when to quit. Yeah, I probably have 3-5 more years left in me. Yeah, I could still step out on that pitch in the Blue and Black in front of 90,000 fans and love every minute of it. Yeah, I would love to win the league again. But when is enough enough?
There’s literally 10 soccer players I can think of who still perform at a top level after their young 30s. Most of them, though, go on the club tour where they’re signed for a year or two to bring in some extra fans and to give their young players a boost. I don’t mind teaching a new kid the basics, but I don’t want to be a sideshow. I don’t want to be someone to help draw a crowd.
Nina thinks I should keep playing. Not that she doesn’t want me home. She does. She wants that more than anything. She told me she’s tired of me being away for days or weeks at a time. She wants to wake up next to me and kiss me good morning every day. She also thinks I would be stupid to retire from my dream before the dream is over.
I’ll say it again.. When is enough enough?
What isn’t enough is this place. When we moved in, I had two kids and one on the way. Now, I’ve got 5 kids and one on the way. We’ve renovated twice. We’ve built more bedrooms. We did everything we could. I guess we could renovate again, but I don’t really want my house to become like a highway where it’s always under construction but never finished. I do know one thing… I love my children with all my heart, but I don’t want anymore. I finally went to the doctor and had a vasectomy. That’s it. The Sergio Alvarez Baby Factor has gone out of business.
I spoke to Uncle Juan. He’s doing well. Andrés has found a woman to settle down with and moved out and while Uncle Juan loves the house, he wants to move. I guess I could move everyone back to Brindleton Bay. That house has 7 bedrooms. It has a big yard and pool for all the kids to use. They won’t be cramped up in this penthouse with a small yard outside.
The problem is the travel time from Brindleton to San Myshuno. It’s a two-hour drive one way. I’m already gone from home enough now. Do I really want to add 4 more hours a day to my time away from my wife and kids?
I think Nina wants out of San Myshuno, too. She loves living in the fashion district. She adores having the best place in the whole city. She just wants to have a place to relax. Motherhood has been tough on her. She’s still just as beautiful as the day I met her, but you can tell her patience is worn. She’s ready for these kids to grow up and start doing more on their own.
Diego and Antonio are great with helping out. They help with the toddlers and making sure they eat and are sleeping. Those twins are amazing. I hope Ana, Alejandro, and Enrique are learning from their good example.
Nina is about to burst with the new kid. I decided I didn’t want to know what the baby was going to be. I have 4 boys. To be honest, I’d rather have one more boy, but I think Nina wants another girl. She feels outnumbered. She tells me all the time that the amount of testosterone in the house is probably going to suffocate her one day. What can I say, my father had one kid… a boy. My grandfather had 9 kids, all boys. It’s an Alvarez trait, I guess. We have boys. A long line of Alvarez men having Alvarez sons. One day we’ll probably rule the world.
Ah, man, I finally told Diego and Antonio that Becky had died. It was the hardest conversation I’ve ever had to have with them. I know they didn’t really know her, but you can tell when things affect kids. Though, and I tell you that I couldn’t have ever expected them to say this, they told me that Nina was their real mom and Becky was only their biological mother. Now, you tell me any kids that are smarter than them. Go ahead, I dare you.
But, they’re also sad about it. They were hoping to finally get to know her and learn about her and their only living grandparents. They wanted to visit her in New York and see all the sights. That’s just not possible now. I can take them to New York, but I think… I think it wouldn’t be the same for them. Man, so many emotions all mixed together.
I had a dream last night. It felt so damn real, but I had a dream last night. I dreamt my dad was here. He was standing at the foot of the bed talking to me. He didn’t say much, only that he was proud of me. I swear I could’ve touched him it felt so real. He said that mama was so happy to have grandkids and wishes she could hug them. Man, I wish that had been real. But it still made me feel like I’ve done the right things so far… even if they seemed like mistakes at the beginning.
Oh shit, Nina just hollered for me. Looks like I’m about to be a father for the 6th time… kid’s on the way!
Heh, Nina’s so happy… It’s a GIRL! Clara Elena Alvarez Caliente.
I bought a VoidCritter game for the kids. Ana is all over it. Her brothers don’t seem to be into it as much as she is. She’s been busy training her whatever it is. I’m glad she’s happy!
And another birthday. This time Alejandro has aged up. Man, I’m kind of happy I have a new kid. I’ve gotten so used to toddlers running around, I don’t know what I’d do without that!
That’s all for tonight. I’m so loving this new journal!