1.20: Unanswered Questions

AN: This chapter does not have screenshots.  Also, apologies for disappearing.  Life worked against me, then I hit writer’s block, but I’m back now!

There were questions to be answered, this was for certain.  The kiss had shaken Diego to his very core, but not in a bad way.  No, he wasn’t concerned about being gay and any ramifications from such a discovery, but he was concerned that if he were gay that he didn’t realize it before Richie decided to plan one on him in the locker room.  As to why Richie felt that was appropriate is another question for another day.

Certainly there were ways for Diego to figure this out.  One obvious and glaring process would be to commence intimacy with Richie or another guy.  If he were gay, most likely the experience would be something that he would like. He could then answer the question and know beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was in fact gay.  Though, he could also be bisexual. That would also mean enjoying intimate moments with a girl. This, though, was something frowned upon only due to the fact he wasn’t sure he was ready to go that far with anyone at this moment.

He wasn’t concerned with how his parents would react.  There was a part of him that felt Nina would be over the moon to have a gay kid on her hands.  His father, Diego assumed, would also be accepting of this fact–though he knew that it would take Sergio a bit of time to process the information.  It wasn’t that grandchildren were out of the question. With 5 siblings, one being gay wouldn’t ever prevent the Alvarez family from becoming their own small army in San Myshuno.. Or indeed any other town.  Diego always felt like, as the eldest kid (by a whopping 2 minutes) he was expected to kind of be the heir-apparent to the kingdom.

Then he sat back in his bed and looked up at the ceiling and thought.  He went back to the kiss. He could still feel Richie’s lips pressed against his.  He was surprised by it, but he did kind of like it. That’s when his mind began to wonder.  He thought about that moment and where it could lead. The idea of Richie maybe becoming something more than a friend.  Maybe a boyfriend. Maybe a lover. Would this be something that would be okay for him? Would this be a thing where he thought he might be gay, led Richie on, then ended it after realizing he wasn’t?  How horrible of a person would that make Diego? Could he stand to lose his friend as a result? Would Richie even understand? Could Richie ever understand anything more than was he could see, hear, feel, touch, and smell?

No, he couldn’t move forward with Richie.  Not unless Diego was certain that he was, in fact, gay–or at least bisexual.  There was a friendship there. He actually liked hanging out with Richie. He couldn’t hurt him like that–it would be wrong.  

So many questions, none that could easily be answered.  Still, Diego’s mind did wander. It did wonder what it would be like to kiss Richie again.  Maybe, just maybe, that’s all that would be needed.

5 thoughts on “1.20: Unanswered Questions

  1. Welcome back! Don’t worry, I’ve taken long unannounced breaks before xD
    I think Diego should work out if he likes Richie, aside from whether or not he’s gay or bi. He could be pan after all, or something to that effect.

    Liked by 1 person

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